The Dauntless Holiday Series!
by IamD1v3rg3nt
Summary: Tris mentions in Divergent that the Abnegation have holidays and that she expects that the Dauntless do as well, but that she has no clue what they are or would be. This is a story taken from that where she finds out firsthand how the Dauntless celebrate the holidays! ….Zeke is really OC and so are Eric and Max. Uriah is basically like himself and Four is just…he's just Four
1. Chapter 1

**The Divergent Holiday Series!**

Xx This is a COMPLETE crack-fic based off of Divergent by Veronica Roth. It takes place during the first book in the series. Also, the fight simulation and all of the issues with the Erudite NEVER happened. Oh! And Will is still alive lol. xX

**Summary**: Tris mentions in Divergent that the Abnegation have holidays and that she expects that the Dauntless do as well, but that she has no clue what they are or would be. This is a story taken from that where she finds out firsthand how the Dauntless celebrate the holidays! ….Zeke is really OC and so are Eric and Max. Uriah is basically like himself and Four is just…he's just Four lol

**Disclaimer: **I DO NOT OWN DIVERGENT OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS! Though I wish I owned Tobias…and Uriah

Preface:

What have I gotten myself into? Honestly! I expected the Dauntless to be a little crazy, but in a reckless kind of way- Not like children on a sugar rush! I mean, one day the leaders are cold and menacing, trying to make us kill each other in initiation and the next, Eric is giving away CANDY! Why?! Zeke is FROLICKING and Uriah is sitting on ERIC'S LAP! Even TOBIAS is acting weird! I pictured the Dauntless as dark, reckless, "I can jump off of buildings" kind of people. I expected at the very least just rebellious kids. I didn't expect this. At least the other "transfers" are just as confused as I am. So it seems like the only sane ones around here are Christina, Peter, Will, and I. Maybe this is just another form of initiation? A surprise test?


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter One: Halloween

I groan hearing a knock on my door, rolling over under my blankets. It's been barely two months since the Choosing Ceremony and I've grown accustomed to living with the Dauntless. After making it through initiation, I chose an apartment a few hallways down from Tobias's, right in between Christina's and Will's. Anyway, we've settled into our apartments and jobs. I work with initiates for the most part. Tobias doesn't think that being a leader and Divergent is a good combination. Speaking of Tobias…

"Tris? Are you in there? Come on!" Tobias pounds on my door, unusually excited about something. I roll over and cover my head with the nearest pillow, attempting to block out my boyfriend's strange behavior. "Tris open up!"

"Fine!" I could be a little nicer, but does the guy even realize how early it is? There is silence on the other side of the door which can mean one of two things: He left, or he decided to shut up and be patient. I get up out of bed, sighing. My hair is probably a mess but who cares?

"Wow, you look horrible." Apparently my charming boyfriend does.

"What do you want, Four?" It comes out more as a growl but he just shakes is head, laughing. Before I can yell at him, he drags me by the arm down the hallway toward the Pit.

The Pit looks…different. Dauntless members are scattered everywhere putting up weird lanterns and streamers. There are paintings on the walls of ghosts and witches. What's weirder: Eric is laughing. He's LAUGHING. Not like his normal creepy, intimidating laugh. No, he actually looks like a person! Over towards the dining hall, Uriah waves to me with a pumpkin in his hands. Weird. Why would he be holding one of those things? I glance at Tobias, only to find him running over to Zeke who's holding glow-in-the-dark paint. Why is everyone so happy at seven in the morning?

"Is everyone high?" I turn around hearing Will. He's rubbing his eyes, looking half asleep. Christina's beside him, wide-eyed. She's obviously more of a morning person.

"Yeah what's going on?" Her head's whipping around so fast that her hair smacks Will in the face. He turns to glare at her making me laugh.

"I'm not sure. All I know is that Four's acting like he's had too much cake." I look at Zeke and Tobias to see them throwing paint at each other. When I look back at Christina and Will, they look like they're torn between laughing and looking scared.

"Hey guys! Wanna make a Jack-O'-Lantern?!" Uriah thrusts a pumpkin into my hands. When did he come over? And what's a Jack-O'-Lantern?

"A what?" Will's more awake now, staring at the pumpkin confused. Instead of explaining, I get dragged to the table where Uriah was at before. Tori sits in one of the chairs, painting whiskers on a little girl's face. She's smiling and talking, but her eyes show the same concentration as when she gave me my tattoos.

Uriah sits us down and places a pumpkin in front of each of us, followed by a nice. Since when was mutilating a pumpkin a thing? He walks over to another pumpkin and turns it around to face us, showing a face carved into it that I'm assuming is supposed to be scary. I poke it, confused.

"What's the point of this?" I yawn, and Will yawns too, glaring at me. "What? I can't help it!" Uriah sighs, frustrated.

"Here," he cuts a hole into the top of my pumpkin and pulls it off by the stump. "Now, take out the filling and cut a face out!" He seems way too excited about this. At seven in the morning. Why?

"Uh, doesn't this seem morally wrong?" Christina pokes the pumpkin hesitantly. "I mean, aren't you, like, taking its brain out? And why is yours smiling after it just got massacred?"

"Just do it!" Uriah sighs, exasperated. "Come on! You're supposed to be Dauntless!"

"When did that have anything to do with killing pumpkin men?" Will looks as confused as I am.

"Stop questioning it!" he almost looks offended. I sigh, deciding to humor him. Maybe Tobias made one.

I cringe, taking the filling out. It feels slimy, and Christina's "brain" comment isn't helping at all. I look over seeing Will and Christina doing the same as me. I pick up the knife hesitantly. How is it that even though I've thrown knives a dozen times, yet I can't do this? It just seems weird using a weapon to carve a face into a pumpkin. I must take too long because Uriah yanks the knife from my hand.

"Let me help!" He makes a cut into the pumpkin, shaping it into an eye. I watch him carefully and take the knife from him, making another eye. Peter walks over and watches me, laughing hysterically when I'm done.

"What's the matter, Stiff? I thought you said you were _good_ with a knife!" I glare at him, sinking in my chair as the others laugh too. I didn't think it was that bad.

"Shut up, Peter!" I dig the knife into the pumpkin shell again, suddenly determined to prove them wrong.

I'm not sure how long I work on it. I make slow, precise movements in order to copy Uriah's technique. When I pull back, I look at it satisfied. It's not scary, but it looks about as good as the others on display. Looking over, I see Will and Christina finishing up, laughing. Will looks at me and throws the pumpkin filling at me and I retaliate. By the time Uriah drags us away from the table, we're covered in pumpkin laughing our heads off.

"Where are we going now?" Christina whines, getting dragged across the Pit towards the clothing stores. Uriah rolls his eyes.

"To get you guys costumes, duh!" I blink at him. Costumes? Why?

"Uh, why do we need costumes?"

"For the party!" Uriah says impatiently. He's obviously annoyed. Gee, I wonder why.

Uriah leads us into a crowded store with strange-looking outfits. Some of them have wings, others look like animals, others just look plain weird. How is this related to jumping off of trains and defending the city? He walks over to a rack with a hand on his chin, the image of deep thought. He pulls off an outfit that consists of a short dress, wings, and antennae. Whatever it is, it's mythical. He hands it to Christina who eyes it suspiciously. He cuts her off before she can say anything. "I'll buy it. You just go find shoes and whatever girly makeup that fairies would wear." Fairies?

She shrugs walking off with it as Uriah turns to Will. His costume isn't so confusing: A soldier with camouflage. Not typical Dauntless gear, but understandable I guess. I've figured out that part of this party is, it involves dressing up as something or someone that you're not. I get uneasy as Uriah turns to me next. "I have the perfect one for you!" Why does that scare me?

I sit on Christina's bed, letting her do my makeup. I'm wearing a cape of some sort and am wearing all black. It definitely is _not_ anything like the Abnegation would wear. Of course they wouldn't wear costumes or go to parties, period. I'm wearing a short black mini skirt and a tight shirt that shows my stomach. I shiver absentmindedly, feeling heat rise to my cheeks. "Uriah's dead."

"Sit still!" Christina glares at me as she does my makeup carefully. Her hair is even curlier than usually and her makeup is very girly and glittery. It's amazing how Uriah somehow got us both into these ridiculous outfits and got us to cake our faces in makeup. All I keep thinking is: _Tobias will see me. Tobias will see me._

"What even _is_ a vampire?" I ask, trying to be as still as possible. She tries to sound like a know-it-all.

"A vamp_ress_!"

"Well? What is a vamp_ress_?" I grin at her confused look.

"Well… I don't know! Uriah says to give you fangs and blood on your face. Oh, and to make you pale, which isn't hard." She laughs at me. "Sorry. But seriously, you look incredible! Go look!"

I shake my head, frustrated, and walk to the mirror across the room. I freeze, when I see myself. She's right. I usually feel self-conscious, but I actually feel pretty. Aside from the creepy fangs and blood, I actually look like one of those sluts who always flirt with Tobias. When I look back at her, she looks proud of her work.

"Come on, Tris. Let's go see everyone."

…

We met up with Uriah and Will who look great. Will has face paint and camouflage everywhere in addition to a fake gun on his back. Uriah has a creepy white mask and a black cape. We walk into the Pit and I'm blinded by the strobe lights and glowing paint everywhere. I've never seen a party where there aren't boring old people and Amity music as entertainment. There's punch colored like blood, and other various foods made to look like other creepy things like eyeballs or gore.

I hear screams and look toward a hall that has a drape covering the entrance. Uriah follows my gaze, grinning mischievously. "That's a haunted house! We should go if it's not too _dauntless_ for you."

"Yeah, sure." I roll my eyes and keep walking, looking for Tobias. I look for him for hours with no luck. Finally, I get tired of Uriah's constant nagging about the "haunted house". "Alright! Fine! I'll go!"

"Yay! Let's go!" He drags me by the hand and I'm vaguely aware of the fact that Will and Christina are nowhere in sight. They probably bailed to go kiss somewhere.

Eric smirks at me at the entrance. "Pretty brave, Stiff." I ignore him and keep going. This place is nothing but a bunch of Dauntless kids playing pranks and scaring people. For the most part I'm right. There are creepy markings and strobe lights everywhere and the more that the hallway narrows, the more claustrophobic I get. Zeke jumps out at me, making me jump involuntarily. I glare at him as he laughs a little too hard. Great. This is fun.

I keep going, anxious to get this over with. I leave the brothers behind and walk around the corner. There's blood everywhere and I hope it's fake. There wouldn't be real blood..would there? No, Zeke wouldn't be laughing if there was. I'm just jumpy, that's all. I can hear the chasm the deeper that I go. I also don't hear anything else. There aren't any more strobe lights and the decorations are next to none. Did I take a wrong turn?

Hands grab me, covering my mouth and yanking me in a dark crevice. I let out a blood curdling scream, terrified. I only stop when I hear a familiar laugh. Tobias. I narrow my eyes and punch him in the jaw, hard.

"Ow! Tris!" His eyes widen, holding his jaw, obviously in pain. I almost feel guilty, but I'm too angry and hurt for that.

"What did you expect?! What even _is_ this?!" I get quiet, feeling my eyes burn. "Why did you scare me like that?" He hugs me close.

"I'm so sorry, Tris! I thought someone told you! It's, uh, Halloween!"

"Huh?" I blink, my eyes still watery with tears.

"Halloween…" He laughs a little, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "I'm sorry. I should have known. I mean, I used to be new to all of this too. Halloween is where everyone eats candy and dresses up and tries to scare each other." He scratches his neck, looking away. "It's kind of a big deal around here. I guess I got carried away…"

I calm down as this sinks in. Halloween? Is it a holiday? Then I notice his costume: a black cape and suit with gloves and fake blood trickling from his mouth. A male version of me. So _that's _what Uriah meant when he already knew what costume I needed. I try not to smile and to keep my vulnerable look. Why not join in on the fun?

"You're-You're such a-a jerk!" I sniffle for dramatic affect. By the looks of it, he's buying my act. "I can't believe you would do something so-so horrible! You _know_ how Peter grabbed me before!" I cry fake tears, trying hard not to laugh at his stricken face. He feels horrible.

"Tris, I-"

"Sh-Shut up! I hate you!" Okay, that may have been harsh. But he definitely looks _scared._

"Tris please-" He stops when I start laughing, and looks heartbroken. "What are you laughing at?"

"Happy Halloween!" I grin, kissing him lightly. "Not fun getting scared, is it?"

"No, it isn't." His voice is low, like when he's angry. I would be scared if it weren't for the playful look in his eye. "No one scares the legendary _Four_!"

I scream, laughing and take off running as he chases me. Dauntless is definitely not what I expected. But maybe I can handle this "Halloween". Hopefully this is the _only_ holiday that they celebrate.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Two: Chanukah

I thought Halloween was strange. I thought, "How can it get any weirder around here?". Why did I ask that? Why?! Of _course_ when you ask something like that, it will _always_ get weirder! I should have known that. And to think I tested for Erudite.

"Uh, Zeke? What are you doing?" Christina and I have been sitting in the Pit talking until Zeke comes up with candles.

"Where do I put the Menorah this year?! The other spot's been taken?!" He looks frantic, running around with a strange object and candles.

"Menorah?" Zeke stops looking around and sits with us. Oh great. Please don't tell me it another…

"It's for a holiday that my family celebrates!" He looks enthusiastic. Great, _another_ holiday to learn about. Wait, he said his _family_. Does that mean it's not Dauntless?

"So, what's the holiday? I mean the others aren't running around." Christina smiles at him. It's easy to be calm around Zeke sometimes. He's crazy like his brother but he can also be normal and easy to talk to.

"It's called Chanukah. It's for our religion. Mom, Uriah, and I are Jewish. A few others around here are, but not many. It got passed down I guess." He shrugs, still looking around but also interested in explaining. We wait, expectantly. I _really_ didn't want to know at first, but now I'm curious.

"So… What's Chanukah?"

"And what's Jewish?" Zeke laughs at us a little. He reminds me a lot of his brother.

"Being a Jew means you follow a certain religion. Dauntless aren't big on religion so there are, like, no Jews here. Chanukah is…" He looks deep in thought. "… Okay so a long time ago there was a group of people who wanted to practice their religion. Their rulers told them that they couldn't so they revolted."

"So what's with the Menorah?" I point to the candle holder. "I don't get it."

"You see, in my religion, I believe in God. The story goes that the Jew rebels took back their place of worship but were stranded. They only had enough oil to light a candle for one night or so but the light stayed lit eight days. We light this Menorah," He holds up the Menorah, "as a sign of worship since it was a miracle that our God did."

I stare at him and so does Christina. Wow. Could the God that my parents always talk about be real? He gets up looking frantic again.

"So now you get why this is so important! Where do I put it?!" He runs around making me laugh.

"Come on, let's go find the perfect place!" Christina grabs his arm, snickering. I laugh, too.

"Don't worry, we'll help!" I assure him, making him smile.

We run all around the Pit, but Zeke is _way_ too picky. I mean, I understand that this is important, but _come on_! We spend all day looking. What's worse is that I missed my date with Tobias. Finally Zeke yells that he found the perfect place. It's a shelf in a secluded hallway near the Pit. He lights the first candle and I have to admit, it looks cool.

"Thanks, guys. It means a lot!" Zeke grins at us and runs off to find his family. Christina and I say our goodbyes and separate.

As I walk back to my apartment, I'm lost in thought. I wonder if Zeke is telling the truth. Did that really happen? Maybe that means that God is real. Maybe I have a part of my parents still with me afterall.

Outside of my apartment door, Tobias is leaning against it, waiting for me. I smile at him and am about to apologize when he cuts me off.

"Uriah told me what you've been doing to help out Zeke. I think it's really nice of you to help." He smiles and his eyes show pride. "You never cease to amaze me, Tris." I feel my cheeks heat up and he laughs. We walk into the apartment, just sitting and talking.

"So, Tris, what do you think about that Chanukah thing anyway?" He seems amused.

I decide not to answer. I don't know what to think. It sounds incredible, but almost too good to be true. I'm just not sure. Maybe I need to talk to Zeke more so I can learn about it and decide for myself.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Three: Christmas

How many holidays do the Dauntless celebrate?! I no more than finish Chanukah with Zeke and Uriah and then everything goes into mass chaos… again! November 30th was completely normal with training and paintball. December 1st, the entire Pit is covered in _green_ and _red_ and _plants_! How does that have _anything_ to do with Dauntless?

This morning I opened my door to find a ring of green leaves hanging on the outside. I didn't put it up. I looked down the hall to see _everyone's_ doors decorated. The Pit is even worse. Never in my life did I _ever_ expect to see Eric in a fuzzy red suit and hat. And he seems _happy_ about it! Dauntless kids are running around with colorful decorations and they're wearing sweaters and scarves. I'm not sure why considering it's the same temperature down here year round. Zeke is on a ladder with Max holding it. It looks like he's hanging up a small plant on a lower part of the ceiling.

Eric sits on a large red chair. It looks soft and velvety. Most of the guys are _singing_. There is a giant tree with weird looking decorations hanging from the branches. _This is worse than Halloween!_

Uriah runs up to Eric and sits on his lap looking _way_ too happy. Why would he sit on his lap?! And they're both grinning like idiots at each other, talking. _Wait a minute._ Did Eric just say "Ho, Ho, Ho"? What the-

I look up seeing Tobias dressed up, too. But he's wearing green tights that cling to his body and he's covered with _bells_! A green and red hat tips to the side with a bell dangling. He doesn't look happy, which is exactly why it is _so_ funny. I can't help it, I burst out into laughter. Tobias looks up and a few emotions cross through his eyes: shock to embarrassment to anger. Yeah, I'll be in trouble later for laughing. It's _so_ worth it, though.

I intentionally avoid Eric and Tobias because I don't want to ruin Eric's good mood and, also, because I don't think I can keep a straight face around Tobias. I instead decide to immerse myself in the holiday spirit with Zeke and help him and Max decorate. Max isn't half bad when he's actually in a good mood. They told me that this tradition is pretty much all of December and that its called "Christmas".

Basically, this guy named Santa comes and puts presents all around the Christmas tree and the Dauntless say that the more decorative and spirited they are, the more presents they'll get. That explains all of the spirit and the fact that Eric and Tobias are dressed up. I wonder if they'll be dressed up all month.

I've decided that I like this holiday. It's crazy and exciting. We tell stories about Santa, decorate the huge tree, put up streamers, and sing what Zeke calls "Christmas carols". Zeke, I found, is the most spirited out of everyone. He even went as far as trying to freeze the river in the chasm so we could ice skate. That was a bad idea and the poor guy is going to spend Christmas sick.

Christmas Eve is the most festive of all of the holiday celebrations. There are lights _everywhere_. There's also music echoing throughout the Pit, which is a big deal considering only the Amity really have music. The kitchen and dining hall is filled with the smell of freshly baked cookies. Apparently this is another Christmas tradition: baking cookies for Santa. I'm not entirely sure how one man is supposed to eat over five thousand cookies. It seems pretty impossible to me. I had the task of reading to the younger kids before bed from a book Zeke owns called "The Night Before Christmas". I don't remember a time where I felt so at home, so happy.

"Tris? Sweetheart, wake up." Tobias's soft voice wakes me up and he gently shakes me. When I open my eyes I see that I'm on the floor of the Pit. I must have fallen asleep after reading. I get up and look around, smiling when I see presents under and around the tree. I look back at Tobias noticing that he's in pajamas and smile at him. I haven't talked to him really since December began. I think he was embarrassed for his job. He smiles back. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Tobias." I kiss him softly and he helps me up, my back feeling stiff.

As much as I know that the members of Dauntless are the ones who bought and made all of the presents, it still seems so magical seeing the faces of the kids. We had a big feast after the kids finished with their presents and just spent the day being not just a faction, but a family.

I sit on the edge of the chasm, smiling at nothing. This holiday has made me in such a great mood. Tobias joins me, his feet dangling as he sits. I've been trying to get him over his fear of heights, but I can tell that he's still nervous because he holds my hand.

"So… Santa asked me to give you something…" He looks away, trailing off. He probably noticed how corny that sounded.

"Santa?" I raise an eyebrow. He laughs and hands me a small box. "Uh… here…"

I take the box hesitantly. What did he do? As I open it, my hand immediately goes to my mouth to hide the gasp. In the box lays a necklace with a pendant in the shape of the Dauntless symbol, a fire of small diamonds. I can't hide the few tears that fall. Tobias gently kisses them away, holding me close.

"Merry Christmas, Tris. I love you." He whispers in my ear. I smile as he helps me put the necklace on.

"Merry Christmas, Tobias. I love you more."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Four: New Year's Eve

After the whole Christmas fiasco, I can't wait to experience the next Dauntless holiday. As it turns out, I don't have to wait long. New Year's Eve is just around the corner. This is one holiday that I _have_ heard of before. A few of the other factions celebrate it, obviously not Abnegation, though. On the last night of the year, everyone drinks alcohol and at the end of the countdown for the new year, everyone kisses their lover.

Obviously, since I actually have friends and a boyfriend, I'm extremely excited. Even though it's only one night, people say that it's the best night of the year. Tobias and I have grown so much closer since I was first an initiate of Dauntless. It'll be perfect to spend this night with him. But I _am_ nervous. What if it's not what I expect? What if Tobias doesn't want to spend it with me?

All day we've spent cooking for the New Year's Eve feast tonight. Christina's been talking about her "New Year's kiss" all day and how excited she is. She's not the only one, though. Shauna's been making plans with Zeke and Uriah's apparently planned something special for Marlene. I've heard absolutely _nothing_ from Tobias. I haven't even seen him all day. I went to his apartment earlier but he didn't answer. He hasn't been in the control room either. I'm really worried.

He's not at the feast. _Everyone_ is at the feast _except _Tobias. Where is he? There's an hour until midnight. There's an hour until everyone will be kissing and celebrating and I'm alone. The food is good but I feel sick. Why am I so nervous? It's one kiss. It's only one kiss.

It's forty five minutes until midnight. Everyone is either drunk, making out, or having sex… or a combination of the three. I have never had alcohol once. Not once. But just this once, I don't care. I don't know how much alcohol I've had before I hear Tobias behind me.

"Tris?" He sounds sad. I wonder why.

"Heeey Four!" My voice slurs and I vaguely notice that I said "Four" instead of "Tobias". He notices, though. He also notices that I'm drinking. I don't know if I'm expecting him to join me or not, but I'm definitely not expecting him to be angry.

"What do you think you're doing?" His voice is low and cold. Even drunk, I know that this is bad.

"What's the matter, Baby?" Somewhere in the back of my mind, I cringe. _Did I just call him "Baby"?_

"What is the matter with you?" He rips the bottle from my hand and tosses it into the chasm. He's furious. I don't know why, though. He drinks all of the time. Why does it matter if I drink? Instead of taking my chances, I just shrug. He sighs and yanks me to my feet, dragging me to his apartment.

"Where are we going?" He stays silent and takes me inside, locking the door behind him, glaring at me. I suddenly feel furious. _He's_ the reason I drank! Because he deserted me! How _dare_ he be angry with me! "Why do you even care?! You left me! I was alone! It's not like you even-"

Tobias shuts me up by kissing me hard. He probably figured I'd just pull away if he did it normally. When he pulls away, he's still quiet. This time, though, he's sad. "I'm sorry. There was something outside of the compound that I had to take care of. I didn't desert you. I never would."

As if on cue, the alcohol affects yet _another_ emotion. I burst into tears. "I'm such a bad girlfriend! I'm sorry! I'm a horrible person!" He takes me into his arms, laughing a little.

"Shh… it's okay, Sweetheart. Remind me never to let you have alcohol again." We grow silent, just in each other's arms. Suddenly I hear the other Dauntless members yelling the countdown. For a bit, I forgot about New Year's. That is, until the cheers erupted and Tobias captured my lips with his.

Yeah, the Dauntless are on a good streak with holidays.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Five: Valentine's Day

February 14th, otherwise known as Valentine's Day, is my new favorite holiday. It is a day that is dedicated to lovers. Uriah told me. He and Zeke are frantic, _again_. But this time they've been following me around asking me what girls like. They want to get the _perfect_ gifts for Marlene and Shauna. Valentine's Day is tomorrow so they don't have much time. I understand that they are trying to make the day perfect, but shouldn't they know what their girlfriends like?

Of course, the guys aren't the only ones freaking out. Christina is freaking out, too. She's convinced that she's a horrible girlfriend if she doesn't make it a special day for Will, who, ironically, hasn't seemed worried at all. Marlene is in worse shape, thinking she's failed Uriah somehow. I can't be talking, though. I'm a complete and total wreck.

I know that Tobias loves me, and I'm pretty sure that he knows that I love him. Still, I'm paranoid. I want to show him _just_ how much he means to me. It doesn't help that the Dauntless have turned out to be _very_ spirited when it comes to holidays. Valentine's Day is no exception. People have seriously been baking all day in the kitchen chocolates, cakes, cookies, basically any sweets for their "Sweets". What have I done? Nothing. I haven't made him anything or bought him anything or done _anything_ for him that's _special_. I have no clue what to do for him tomorrow. I'm under a lot of pressure because of what he gave me for Christmas. I touch the necklace around my neck. _I never got him anything for Christmas._

…..

This morning is Valentine's Day. I just lay in my bed for over an hour. I've done _nothing_ for him. I'm just a burden to him. I keep failing no matter how hard I try. I tried making some Dauntless cake for him since he loves it, but I just ended up charring it to bits. I don't have enough points to spend on the present I _wanted_ to get him. I can't cook, so dinner is a "no". Why am I such a failure when it comes to the guy I love the most?

I decide to take a shower and when I left my apartment, I immediately wish I hadn't. Of _course_ Zeke would be having sex in the hallway. Right in the open. I was _already_ afraid of sex without this. I quickly run by to the Pit, only to find it filled with happy couples and flirting. The last thing I need is to have Tobias treat me like some treasure while I can't do anything right.

That's it. That's _it_.

I'm afraid to _be_ with him. So it would mean the world to him if I got past it. Maybe if I could… I feel the heat rise and my cheeks and my hands shake like when I panic. I wipe my hands off onto my jeans. This is wrong. How am I _this_ nervous? I love him. He needs to know how _much_.

"Hey, Tris!" I squeak and turn red turning around to meet Tobias's smiling face, then his confused one. "Hey, are you okay?" I just nod. This is going to be a _long_ day.

We're sitting on our rock in the chasm, silent. Tobias _won't stop looking_ at me! He has this worried look like he's afraid I'll get up and run. How can I keep screwing up this badly?

"Tris, are you sure that you're okay? You've been quiet all day. And you barely look at me." He has a broken look in his eyes. I hurt him.

"I'm fine, Tobias. I promise. I just need to think." Wrong words. He looks like I just slapped him.

"You need to think… You mean that you need space… You don't want this…" His voice breaks and I've never seen him look so…vulnerable.

"No! That's not it!" I say it a little too loud. It sounds fake. I sigh grabbing his hand and drag him to my apartment. "We need to talk." He stays silent and we walk in and sit on the bed. "Tobias I-"

"Don't. Don't lie to me, Tris. If you don't want to date me then just say it." He looks angry, but his eyes look broken.

"I do want this…I just feel…"

"Feel what?" He cuts me off.

"I feel inferior!" He stares at me shocked. "You do everything for me, Tobias. I just want to be able to show you that I love you but I can't do that! I can't afford a present for you and I burned cake I was making for you and I'm too scared to have sex with you-" While I'm having a mental and emotional breakdown, he starts _laughing_ at me.

"Tris… You shouldn't ever, _ever_ feel inferior. I love you and only you. You are _special_ to me and I understand that you want to show me that you love me. I understand that you're doing your best and that you're trying hard. It's going to take time, Tris. I know that. And I love you anyway. No one said this would be easy. I love you." He kisses my forehead and holds me close.

"Thank you, Tobias… I love you too." We fall asleep in each other's arms, closer than ever.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Six: St. Patrick's Day

I hate St. Patrick's Day. I _hate_ St. Patrick's Day. Who is the _idiot_ who decided to come up with this _stupid_ holiday? My arms hurt. My neck hurts. My cheeks hurt. Everything _hurts_. And Tobias _joined in_ on it. Some boyfriend he is.

This morning everyone was in green. _Green_. Not the usual Dauntless garb. So, like usual, I went up to my trusted friends to explain this newest craze to me. What do they do? _Pinch_ me! Uriah started it but Will and Christina joined in! They were smart, I guess, since they decided to wear green too. Three pinches right away.

Before I was able to run back to my apartment, Zeke ran into me. Literally _ran_ into me. Then he pinched me. If that wasn't enough, he had to _yell _and _announce_ that I wasn't wearing green. I was promptly trampled by Dauntless members who decided to take part in the festivities.

Why didn't Tobias tell me? I was _with_ him _all day._ If he loves me so much why didn't he warn me? Oh yeah, that's right. He took part in it. He personally pinched me, repeatedly.

"Tris! Stop overreacting! Please?" _Bang, Bang, Bang._ I'm not falling for it. I will _not_ open the door. He will pinch me again.

"Open the door, Tris." _Not a request, a demand._ "I'm serious." I hear him curse under his breath. Funny, he never curses.

"Tris, please- Ow! Will you get a life?!" _Get a life?_ I get up cautiously, opening the door a bit. My eyes widen, seeing him rub his arm that has red marks all over it.

"Tobias?" He looks at me, then smiles.

"I didn't think it was fair of me to let you have all of the fun." _He's not wearing green._ "Come on, let's go."

"Thank you…You didn't have to." He smiles and shrugs it off as we walk together. I smile a little looking away before reaching my hand up.

"OW! Tris!"


End file.
